On location
by Kain. D Wolfwood
Summary: Episode - 5 Knifes the last show and Vash in a Teddy suit and Wolfwood gets spank by Gi-Joes do I really need to say more RR to find out more!
1. Missing in action

Hello and welcome to the show first the disclaimer. I do not own the Tirgun sires or anybody in despite my best efforts. I do however own my self and Jet despite the devil's best efforts (Devil-Dam It). Now that all that crap is out of the way on to the show. (Jet- Hay wait a minute you don't own me!, Kain- Yes I do look at the contract., Jet- ahh SHIT you do., Kain- ha ha ha!!.)  
  
The show starts with a big round semi tall man dressed in black walking in front of the camera and behind a bar. The land is a desert wasteland and yet the city is lively you can tell because everybody is trying to get in front of the camera.  
  
Man in black- Hello, I'm your host Kain D. Wolfwood and this is "On location". For this week we will be in the Trigun world getting the inside look at the drama of Vash and the cast.  
  
Kain goes into the bar, pushing kids out of the way. Inside the bar Kain looks around and nobody's there. A look of surprise is on his face and looks into the camera.  
  
Kain- What the hell? Where the (beep) is Vash? Oh man, the first show and our guest is no where to be seen.  
  
Camera man- Yo you should watch your mouth man, you know kids are outside, right?  
  
Kain- Oh shut up Jet.... Are we in the right place?  
  
Jet- yes.  
  
Kain- Humm... I gust you can turn off the camera then. Until Vash shows up anyway... I'm going have a drink.  
  
Jet- are you sure you want to do that? You know how you get when you are drunk.  
  
Kain- How do you mean, Guy I pay?  
  
Jet- never mind.  
  
Kain- Hay barkeep the cheapest drink you got.  
  
The barkeep comes in with a red coat that looks vary similar to Vash's and has bud light in his hand. Hay wait a minute it is Vash!!!  
  
Vash- here you go, mister.  
  
Kain- what the hell is this? Vash, what are you doing?  
  
Vash- working to pay off this tab. Hay wait do I know you?  
  
Kain- Not yet. Hay Jet you got that? Jet- every word.  
  
Kain- good, OK let's get this show on the road.  
  
(Vash blushes and have a "what the hell is going on" look on his face.)  
  
Vash- What show?  
  
Kain- The show you agreed to do over the phone call last night.  
  
Vash- Oh last night I don't remember too much about that?  
  
Jet- you did sound kind of trashed last night.  
  
Kain- Ya well what are you going to do? As they say the show must go on.  
  
Vash- but I'm not ready.  
  
Kain- So.  
  
Vash- I can't be interviewed looking like this.  
  
Kain- your problem not mine.  
  
Jet- you look the same as you do in the show.  
  
Vash- ya but this is my pay off my tab coat.  
  
Kain and Jet- What?  
  
Vash- you don't think I only have one coat.  
  
Kain and Jet- Yes. -_- -_-  
  
Vash- Well I don't.  
  
Kain- Fine well wait tell tomorrow. Come on Jet let's get to the hotel.  
  
Jet and Kain get up and leaves the bar door and Kain turns around and looks right at Vash.  
  
Kain- Tomorrow have your interview jacket on OK.  
  
Kain and Jet leaves and five minuets later Vash relays something.  
  
Vash- Hay he didn't pay for his drink! Oh man this the fifth time today. _ 


	2. The real story SNM?

Kain- Welcome back faithful readers! The last episode I (Kain) and my cameraman (Jet the ass) were on a mission to see Vash the Stampede. Unfortunately he was not able to talk to us.  
  
Jet- Yeah, and I'm not an ass, you fat bastard.  
  
Kain- Eat me, anyway, back to the show. We are here in the Holiday Inn in the Tirgun world. Today's episode was supposed to have Nicholas D. Wolfwood, but because of circumstances beyond are control we are doing both.  
  
(I do not own the Holiday Inn.)  
  
Jet- Yeah, and by circumstances beyond are control he means Vash got trashed and had to pay off a tab.  
  
Kain- Thanks Jet for being PROFFESSIONAL about it.  
  
Jet- No prob, don't you think we should get to the bar.  
  
Kain- Yeah you're right, lets go.  
  
Kain and Jet get both their shit together and leaves the hotel. As they leave the front door Milly and Meryl stop them.  
  
Milly- Hello  
  
Jet- Hello  
  
Kain- Get out of my way, giant.  
  
Meryl- Hay don't be such... such a meanee.  
  
Kain- you're right, please get the hell out of my way giant and please tell the bitch next to you to go on all fours and EAT ME!  
  
Jet- Hey man, don't be such an asshole, don't you know who these two are?  
  
Kain- You can eat me too, and I think the question iciest WHO, but WHAT are these two?  
  
Jet- These two are Meryl and Milly, the two females that are "involved" with the two guys we are interviewing.  
  
Kain- Yeah so?...  
  
Jet- Well, aren't we going to talk to them too?  
  
Kain- Hell no. Why the hell would we want to talk these two to find out who has the best the has the best car insurance? I thank we both know that GEICKO.  
  
(I do not own Geicko either, Geicko- Thank God.)  
  
Jet- No, but they can tell us about how "involved" they were.  
  
Kain- What do mean?  
  
Jet- You know "INVOLED". _0  
  
Kain-....... 0_0  
  
Meryl- He means sex, you moron.  
  
Milly- Oh my!  
  
Kain- Woo you mean love hugs.  
  
Meryl, Jet, and Milly- ... 0_0 Love hugs?  
  
Kain- Yeah love hags, You know when a mommy and daddy...  
  
Meryl- 0_0  
  
Milly- 0_0  
  
Jet- -_- (Blushing.)  
  
Kain- Ah nevermind that, anywho do you really think they would talk about their sex lives with us?  
  
Jet- Good point. Let's get to the bar before we are late.  
  
Kain- OK lets go. (Looks to Milly and Meryl) Thanks for wasting my precious time.  
  
Kain and Jet move out of Milly and Meryl's way and head for the bar. Meryl at this point is red with rage and embarrassment and finally she blurts something out.  
  
Meryl- IT HOOKS TO THE LEFT!!!  
  
Milly- Oh My!  
  
Kain and Jet stop in their tracks  
  
Kain and Jet- 0_0 (Blushing)  
  
Meryl and Milly- 0_0 (Blushing)  
  
Meryl- I mean.... you Know....hehehe (even redder then before.)  
  
Jet- Can you say that again this time into the lens.  
  
Milly- Oh My!  
  
Kain- (Looking to Jet) sorry, when you're right, you're right.  
  
Jet- That's OK we better take advantage of this.  
  
Milly- That's what the Preacher say to me before the night he got shot.  
  
Kain- This is gold tell us more more!!!  
  
Meanwhile at the bar Vash and Wolfwood sits and waits for our two heroes.  
  
Vash- Where can they be? They said they would be here by 12:00 it's already 1:26.  
  
Wolfwood- (drunk off his ass) Maybe they are trying to teach you a lesson.  
  
Vash- Woo, don't you think its too early to be drunk? What kind of preacher are you?  
  
Wolfwood- Hey I'm not drunk yet!  
  
Vash- That's it, I'm cutting you off, barkeep no mare please.  
  
Wolfwood- You bastard, I'm... I'm going to hart you (Wolfwood tries to hit Vash but falls out of his chair and falls a sleep instead.)  
  
Vash- you are just making yourself look bad.  
  
Wolfwood- (wakes up) FUCK YOU!  
  
Vash- Hey, watch your mouth.  
  
Wolfwood falls back to sleep, and are two heroes are just finishing the interview with the girls in front of the hotel.  
  
Milly-...Oh he also likes to pull my hair to.  
  
Kain- Damn! What a sick fuck.  
  
Jet- And I thought Vash was the sickey.  
  
Kain- well now I have some new questions to ask both Vash and Wolfwood.  
  
Jet- Oh shit we got to get to the bar they are still waiting for us.  
  
Kain- Well thanks for your time we have to leave.  
  
Both Kain and Jet finally leave to go to the bar. Will they met them in the bar, or will our heroes be sidetracked again? Who can say, the only way to find out is to read the next chapter. 


	3. Gijoe

Welcome back faithful readers, are you all enjoying the show? WELL I WANT KNOW DAMN IT I NEED FEED BACK, FEED BACK PEOPLE. So PLEASE review my work I need attention. OK now that I am done with begging on with the show.  
  
We last left are hero's leaven the Inn and, going to the bar to met with Vash and Wolfwood. They were stopped by Milly and Meryl and had and interesting conversation to say at the least. After hearing the SNM lives of Vash and Wolfwood they finally left with haste to the with new revelations. We now start this tale in the bar let's see what happens.  
  
Vash- Am about to leave I got better things to do you know.  
  
Wolfwood is still asleep on the floor.  
  
Guy in the bar- Ah excuse me but are you going to move that? (Pointing at Wolfwood on the floor who now has a puddle on the floor where his mouth is.)  
  
Vash- Oh that's OK he will move on his own soon.  
  
Guy in the bar- OK, but if he doesn't get up soon we have to kick you out the bar. You know that right?  
  
Vash- (Vash in shock and surprise) WHAT? OK OK I'LL MOVE HIM.  
  
Just then the bar door's open two shadowed figures stand in front one holding a camera and and the other standing there and holding his crouch.  
  
The one holding his Mr.Happy- WERE'S THE BATHROOM? I GOTA GO GOTA GO GOTA GO! ___  
  
Vash- OK I'm sorry, jeez!  
  
Just then two other figures popped in, it was Milly and Meryl. Meryl was wearing nothing but a trench coat with high heels, and Milly was just standing there blushing. Meryl ran to Vash, and Vash started to blush with a big odd "what the hell is going on here? and am glad to see you simile".  
  
Meryl- Vash I ran into two idiots in the Inn..  
  
Jet- Hey!  
  
Merly- Sorry, anyway I had a great ideas it involves you "in me" in that bathroom. What do you say?  
  
Vash- (red as red can be) Ah..ah...ah OK!  
  
Jet- 0_0  
  
Milly- -_- (blushing)  
  
Merly and Vash runs into the bathroom. They bust open the bathroom door and we see our hero Kain washing his hands.  
  
Kain- Man that was the longest piss in the world.  
  
Vash- Mummm.... Meryl (Kissing her)  
  
Merly- Vash...VASH!  
  
Kain- Hehehehehehe (Trying to keep quiet)  
  
Vash and Meryl look's at Kain with hate and disgust and if it was possibly was redder then red. But you don't want to hear that back to the Jet and company.  
  
Jet- They do know Kain is in there, right?  
  
Milly- Oh my! Kain is in there! Meryls not going to like this.  
  
All of the sudden you can see a big black round thing fly from the bathroom and to the wall with a big thunk noise.  
  
Jet- Well his not in there now.  
  
Kain- (Trying to hide the fact he is crying and is hurt) I (sniff) think we should save this (sniff) interview for last. Given the fact (sniff) that Vash is getting his freak on (sniff), and Wolfwood is on a (sniff) buzz trip right now (sniff).  
  
Jet- (Trying to ease Kain's pain laughing at the same time) It's OK Kain every things going to be fine. I'll get Gun-oh's on the phone and see if we can't talk to them tomorrow OK. -_-  
  
Kain- (now blushing too) OK, thanx.  
  
Jet- No prob.  
  
Both Kain and Jet call it a day and, got all their shit together and left the bar. Wolfwood than wakes up after Kain and Jet are long gone.  
  
Wolfwood- AHHHHH... where am I? What happened? Who am I?  
  
Milly- You are Wolfwood and you are in a bar. You were going to be interviewed by Kain for "On Location", but you passed out from all the drinking you did before they got here, and Vash and Meryl are in the bathroom given each other (giggles) Love hugs.  
  
Wolfwood- LOVE HUGS?  
  
Milly- Yap, Love Hugs.  
  
Wolfwood- OK?... Hay how did you know we would be here.  
  
Milly- Kain and Jet told us outside the Inn.  
  
Wolfwood- Oh... That OK as long as you didn't tell any of our secrets.  
  
Milly- About that...  
  
Wolfwood- (cuts her off) OH YOU DID'NT TELL HIM DID YOU?  
  
Milly- Ah... hmm... maybe?  
  
Wolfwood- GREAT THE WHOLE WORLD NOW KNOWS THAT I LIKE TO BE SPANKED WITH A NAKED GI JOE DOLL.  
  
Vash is not wering his coat, but still in his spandex thing with Merly wearing his red coat and is on his arm. The whole bar now turns and looks at Wolfwood and Milly and they both are blushing now. Vash and Meryl both have a blank look on their faces. 0_0  
  
Wolfwood-... 0_0... (To himself, and looking down to his shoes) Shit! -_-  
  
Milly- Oh my.  
  
Wow that was a interesting episode. I can't wait to see the next one. Well Kain interview the Gun-oh Guns, Will it be as good as today's show? How will Wolfwood get out of this situation, Well he get spanked by a naked Gi Joe doll? Find out next time on "On Location". Please R+R.  
  
Wolfwood: Hey (blushing)! 


	4. GunOh Gun's are ASSHOLE'S

Hello faithful readers and welcome to show number four. Before I start I like to thank the two (Last time I checked) who gave me feed back it really means something to me that TWO whole people read my work thank you. If you want to be thanked REVIEW my work this time. If you don't REVIEW it anyway! OK now that venting crap of my is out of the way on with the show.  
  
We start today's show with our hero's in a white room with a thinner and angry Kain sitting up on a bed with one of his legs broken, and his right arm in a hemlock. He also has his chest bandaged up and has bruise on his face and an eye patch over his left eye. Legato Bluesumers is setting in a chair next to are hero and is eating a hot-dog. We also see Jet setting in a chair on the other side with a big smile because Dominique the Cyclops siting in his lap and is hugging him. If you hadn't guessed it they are in a hospital.  
  
Kain- (pissed) Welcome to the show folks. If you are wondering why am pissed. You are retarded.  
  
Jet- (happily) Oh Kain don't be like that.  
  
Legato- If you want master, I will hunt down all the sacks of crap who this to you, and put them in pain like never experienced before.  
  
Kain- No... and stop me calling that! If you are going to follow us despite my efforts to get rid of you, you call me Kain K-A-I-N. Got it!  
  
Legato- Yes mas... Kain.  
  
Dominique- (playing with Jets hair) You know you aren't being fair to the readers you know.  
  
Jet- (Blushing) Yea we show them all the interviews we got today. (In a making fun kind of way) That way the people at home can feel your pain. He he he. (Now kissing Dominique)  
  
Kain- (even more pissed off) FUCK YOU JET!  
  
Legato- do you wish me to kill him? mas... Kain.  
  
Kain- (Thinking about it)... No who would work the camera then?  
  
Jet- Gee thanx's.  
  
Kain- Now that we wasted most of the time we have let's show you the reader the Gun-oh gun interview's.  
  
Dominique then gets up and Jet after her. She grabs Jet's ass then he walks to the camera and the screen becomes that gray snow for a minute. The screen then cuts to the round Kain that we all know and love. He is standing in the desert standing next to 9 lives.  
  
Kain- Welcome to today's show. Today we well be talking with the Gun-oh guns. Here we have 9 lives, (turns to 9 lives) So 9 lives how do you feel about the Trigun series?  
  
9 lives-...  
  
Kain-...  
  
After five minutes of staring at each other Kain gets pissed. Kain and Jet decides to move on, Kain moves behind 9 lives.  
  
9 lives- (very deep voice) HE HE HE...  
  
Kain- So the RERE can speak.  
  
9 lives then farts with a force so strong it Kain sent flying right though some of the rock's behind him. Kain lands in a cactus field and has a lifeless look on his face. Jet and 9 lives would have noticed if they weren't so busy laughing so hard. The screen cuts away again and this time Kain is now standing next to the long shot in his trademark mask in the same desert background. Kain does his normal open monologue even though he is still pissed at Jet.  
  
Kain- OK let's try this again (turn's to Long shot) So how do you feel about Trigun?  
  
Long shot- mmmfff...mfff mmmff mfff...  
  
Kain- Ummm... Sorry Long shot, but we can't understand you.  
  
Jet- Maybe you should take off that mask thing off.  
  
Kain- Yea if it's not to much trouble.  
  
Long shot- (hastening) MFFF MMMFFF MMMFF...  
  
Kain- we still can't understand you.  
  
Long shot then decides to take off his mask slowly, finally his mask is off.  
  
Kain- (in shock and fear) HOLY SHIT! (Starts to blow chunk's)  
  
Jet- (in shock and fear) JESUS CRIST! (Starts to turn around and runs for it)  
  
Kain- (trying to regain composure) WAIT UP, ASSHOLE (turns to Long shot) I'M SORRY... MY GOD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU? (Turn's around and runs away)  
  
Long shot, with a censorship sign on his face, is crying. The screen cuts away and Kain is still catching his breath and is now standing next to Dominique the Cyclops. Dominique is staring at Jet in a weird way. Kain does his opening monologue like usual.  
  
Kain- (turns to Dominique) So how do you feel about Trigun?  
  
Dominique then vanishes and reappears next to Jet and her hand is on Jets butt. This scares the shit out of Jet so he falls taking Dominique with him. They both fall on the ground and somehow, in some way are kissing.  
  
Kain- (pissed) HEY, LET'S TRY AND BE PROFFESSIONAL HERE?  
  
Dominique- (to Jet) Wow you're a great kisser.  
  
Jet- (to Dominique) Thanks you're not bad yourself.  
  
Jet and Dominique kiss again; Kain's face is red with embamassment and anger.  
  
Kain- (pissed off!) HEY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? WE HAVE A SHOW TO DO PEOPLE! GOD YOU PEOPLE JUST MATE, DAMN IT!  
  
Jet and Dominique are still kissing as if Kain wasn't there. Kain finally says Fuck it and leaves. The screen cuts off now Kain is trying his best to keep his cool. Dominique is hanging off of Jet now and Kain does his normal open monologue in front of a warehouse. Kain then walks in the where house Jet follows, inside it's dark and cold, their is a light in the middle and you can see a man playing with string it's Leonov the puppetmaster.  
  
Kain- Ummm... Hello?  
  
Leonov- ...  
  
Kain- Soooo... how do you feel about Trigun?  
  
Leonov- It is good.  
  
Kain- OK ummm... what have you been doing since Trigun ended?  
  
Leonov- (got up and exited) This!  
  
A light shins next to him and we see two puppets: one a man and the other a woman.  
  
Kain- (in surprise) What's "This"?  
  
Leonov- PUPPET PORN!  
  
Kain- Cut the camera off, Jet, just cut the camera off.  
  
The screen cut off and now Kain is standing back stage of a talk show, Kain does his opening monologue.  
  
Kain- We are now waiting for Zazie the Beast.  
  
You can hear the talk show from behind.  
  
The host- So Zazie why are you here?  
  
Zazie- (deep voice) To tell my muffin that I had not been to faithful.  
  
Zazie's girl- Oh no you didn't little man.  
  
Zazie- Yes... yes I did with all six of your friends, AT THE SAME TIME!  
  
Audience- OWWWWWW!  
  
Kain- Jet.  
  
Jet- Kain.  
  
Kain- This is hell, isn't it?  
  
Jet- Maybe.  
  
Kain- I don't think today is a good time for Zazie.  
  
Jet- Or ever.  
  
Just then a chair hit Kain in the head and, the screen is cut off again. This time Kain has an eye patch over his left eye, Kain does the opening monologue and explain the eye. Just then a gust walks up its Rai-Dei the Blade.  
  
Kain- Hello Rai-Dei, let's skip the intros for now and get right into it if you don't mind.  
  
Rai-Dei nods his head to indicate yes, Dominique starts to giggle. Kain does his best to ignore her.  
  
Kain- So how do you feel about Trigun?  
  
Rai-Dei- I love you.  
  
Kain- WHAT?  
  
Dominique and Jet- Ha Ha Ha...  
  
Kain- Why are you laughing, this is not a laughing matter?... You know something spill it.  
  
Dominique- He doesn't know how to speak English. He only knows how to say I love you...  
  
Rai-Dei- (cuts her off) Touch me!  
  
Kain then gets on his knees and start crying.  
  
Kain- Why can't you gave me a break, God! (Sob).  
  
The screen cuts off again and Kain is now standing in front of some stairs leading to a door. Kain does the opening and then walk's down stairs. He opens the door and is greeted by Hoppered the Gauntlet, he is wearing an SNM kind of suit.  
  
Kain- Ahhh, Hi?  
  
Hoppered- (in a stereotype gay voice) Oh Hello and welcome to the house of pain and pleasure. Oh you must be Kain and company here to do my interview.  
  
Kain- Ahhh... Yeah?  
  
Kain starts the interview with Hoppered and finishes it all in one piece. Hoppered informs them that Midvalley the Horn freak and Legato Bluesummers was there. Kain and company escorted by Hoppered to Midvalley room up stairs all you see is a hallway and Kain in the middle.  
  
Kain- behind this door is Midvalley the Horn Freak. Let's see what his doing, shall we.  
  
Kain open's the door and shock hits our hero's face.  
  
Midvalley- What the hell is going on!  
  
Kain- HOLY SHIT!, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GOAT? HEY JET GET OVER HERE AND GET THIS!  
  
Not a minute later you can hear jazz music being played.  
  
Kain- OH SHIT! MOVE IT GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY, AHHHHHHHH. (Kain is blown past the walls and landed on some painful equipment, thanx's to Midvalley trade mark attack.)  
  
Jet and Dominique runs behind him and finds him next to Legato who has no shirt on and nipple clip's on.  
  
Jet- (try to hold in laughter) Damn, your you all right man?  
  
Kain just lays there with a lifeless look on his face; Legato stares at him with amazement.  
  
Legato- (to Jet) Who is this man? Who can stand you to so much pain?  
  
Jet- Ahhhh... Kain.  
  
Legato- Kain, you who can stand so much pain will be my new master!  
  
Jet and Dominique- WHAT?  
  
Kain twitch's to signify he is alive and, the cut off again gray snow then cuts back to the hospital room.  
  
Kain- Well that was my wonderful day.  
  
Jet- I felt kind of bad, so I am paying for the hospital bill. That why he decided to get a liposuction. That is last time I feel guilty!  
  
Kain- Damn straight!  
  
Just then they heard a knock on the door.  
  
Rai-Dei- Touch me... I love you!  
  
Kain- (look's up and start crying) Why me?  
  
Wow where do I come up with this stuff? Next does time Jet and Dominique get on? Well Legato kill anybody? Who Knows? See next time "On Location". 


	5. Wow its the end

Hello my faithful readers and welcome back to "on Location". Sorry it took me so long to update I was working on the YYH story "The Spirit World Gym". You should check it out when you have time everybody who read it loved it except ONE person. Anyway I been having a real problem finding out how I should start today's show so if I get bad reviews I probably will change it. OK now that that's over on with the show!  
  
We see our Hero Kain in what looks to be a sound stage. He is setting in one of those directors chair and there is a TV behind him with naked Gi- Joe's on top it.  
  
Kain- Welcome to the show folks. I have some bad news for you today. Today's is the last Trigun show... I know, I know this makes all you at home very sad. But before I get into that you all must be wandering where the hell is Jet. Well Jet had...mum... How should I put this? Ahhhh... He had relations with Dominique and, now is getting Penicillin shot to rid of his drippy dong. He he he. That's what that bastered gets for fucken that walken bio hazard bitch.  
  
Person behind the camera- Can you wrap this up? We need to get on with the show.  
  
Kain- OK fine! Gezzzz. Today before we start our short interview with Knives. Short because he's a psycho and some of the shit he said and did wasn't allowed on TV or Fan Fiction. We thought that we show you the search for a part time cameraman. (turns around to the TV and grabs some popcorn for a stage hand) Let's roll them.  
  
The TV turns on and we see Kain and a guy in the suit. They are both setting in front of them are a table with papers on them. The guy in the suit picks up a piece of paper and reads it. Kain turns to the camera and begins to speak.  
  
Kain- Hello folks and welcome to the part time cameraman search. Next to me is Bob, our boss, the producer. Right Bob?  
  
Bob- Yes.  
  
Kain- Bob the man of many words. Right Bob?  
  
Bob- Yes.  
  
Kain- OK now the intro.'s are out of the way. Who's the first cameraman and co-host.  
  
Bob- Zenigata.  
  
Kain- ZENIGATA! The cop guy in Lupin the 3erd. Oh god this is going to be entertaining.  
  
A very old Zenigata roles in the room in his wheel chair.  
  
Kain- (slaps his hand on his face) {sighs} Your to o...  
  
Bob- (cuts him off by putting his hand over Kains mouth) Ahhhh please go on. (Whisper's to Kain) You can't say that he can sue us.  
  
Kain- (moves Bobs hand) FINE! Do you know how to work a camera?  
  
Zenigata- What?  
  
Kain- DO YOU HOW TO WORK A CAMERA?  
  
Zenigata- What? Hay, who are you? Where am I? Where the hell is Lupin?  
  
Kain- (with an odd look on his face) He went that way? (Pointing to the door)  
  
The screen cuts off and back.  
  
Kain- Who's next?  
  
Bob- Vicious  
  
Kain- Wow Cowboy Bebop's Vicious COOL!  
  
Bob- No just a guy who happens to have the same name.  
  
Kain- Oh!  
  
Bob- Bring him in.  
  
A fat guy with a sword and dressed up as Cowboy Bebop's Vicious.  
  
Kain- Ahhhhh... It's a phyco Anime fan. Get the hell outa here!  
  
Vicious- What? I'm not a psycho fan!  
  
Kain- Who's next?  
  
Vicious- Hay, am still here you know?  
  
Bob- It's Hellsings Arucard.  
  
Vicious- Really cool! (he turns around and becomes a fat Arucard like magic)  
  
Arucard walks in the room. He see's the phyco Anima fan and jumps on him violently.  
  
Kain- HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING I'VE SEEN IN MY LIFE!  
  
Anima psycho- OH GOD HELP ME! KAIN SAVE ME DAMN IT!  
  
Kain- Hahahaha FUCK YOU Hahahaha!  
  
Bob- I think we should leave.  
  
Kain- Why the hell should we leave? Look it's getting to the good part.  
  
The Anima psycho fan's leg is thrown across the room and hits Bob in the face.  
  
Bob- (whipping the blood off his face) He might come for us next.  
  
Kain- Good point lead the way.  
  
The screen is cut off and the TV goes off.  
  
Kain- Well after that we decided that Bob was a good enough cameraman. Right Bob?  
  
Bob- Yes.  
  
Kain- For co-host we used Legato. Legato is not here because he is with Knives... (Puts head down)  
  
Bob- (sarcastically) He left ya huh?  
  
Kain- SHUT UP BO... Ahhh stop it Bob you'll never replace Jet.  
  
Bob- I had to try.  
  
Kain- Nice try but, Jet and me just know each other longer. So its funnier coming from him.  
  
Bob-...  
  
Kain- Whatever on with the Knives interview.  
  
The TV comes back on and we see Kain and Legato walking down a narrow hallway.  
  
Kain- Welcome to the show folks today well be interviewing Knives here at New July mental institute.  
  
Legato- Why is he here?  
  
Kain- Because his psycho.  
  
Legato- ...  
  
They both stop at room 666.  
  
Kain- Wow... I hope this is not a sign.  
  
They open the door and see Knives laying on the bed and, is drugged up to the eyeballs.  
  
Kain- Hay, Knives?  
  
Knives- ... TH..THE...THE FISH DID IT!...  
  
Kain- Maybe we should wait until he stops seeing the fish?  
  
Five hours later.  
  
Kain- ZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Legato- Wake up.  
  
Kain- ZZZZ... Huh what? I'm not gay put on your clothes fagget...  
  
Legato- ... Wake Up MASTER!  
  
Kain- WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!  
  
Knives- WHAT DID YOU CALL HIM?!  
  
Legato- (Facing Knives) Sorry I had to wake him some how.  
  
Kain- Whatever lets get the show on the road.  
  
Knives- Good idea! FUCKING HUMAN!  
  
Kain- Hay, calm down man.  
  
Knives- NO ALL YOU FUCKEN HUMANS DESERVES TO EAT MY (BEEP) (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) AND (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) YOUR NOT EVEN (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) YOU AND VASH AND YOUR GOD DAMN TEDDY BEARS CAN (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) ME! ASSHOLE  
  
Kain- DAMN IT MAN! WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!  
  
Knives- NO FUCK YOU (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) MONKEY!  
  
Kain- OK lets just get this over with. First how do you feel about Trigun?  
  
Knives- (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) THATS WHAT I THANK ABOUT FUCKEN TRIGUN!  
  
Kain- (sighs) Do you think they portrait you correctly?  
  
Knives- No because am really caring and loving to all living things.  
  
Kain- ... Really?...  
  
Knives- NO YOU (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) ASSHOLE, SHIT EATING (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) GODDAMN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, OH WAIT I KNOW (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) THAT WHATS WRONG WITH YOU RIGHT? RIGHT?... ANWSER ME ASSHOLE (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)  
  
Kain- No... I think we should leave Bob.  
  
Bob- Ya your propel right.  
  
Kain- Come on Legato.  
  
Legato- NO.  
  
Kain- What?  
  
Legato- You are an ASSHOLE and I miss Knives. So I'm staying.  
  
Kain- OK lets go.  
  
The TV is turn off.  
  
Kain- Well that was are Trigun show see us in Yi-Gi-Oh next time. Hay! Wait why the hell are we going to be in Yi-Gi-Oh world? Isn't that for little (beep)! Hay, why did you beep me I didn't even say cuss word!  
  
Bob- First of all Yi-Gi-Oh is the biggest thing and this is the only time we came get a interview with them. Second of all the show is for KID's and ADULT alike.  
  
Kain- Whatever let's just go and get it over. See you guys later in the Yi- Gi-Oh world. (really fast) THAT'S FOR LITTLE KIDS. Shot gun! I win hahahaha!  
  
Well that's it for "On location" in the Trigun world. What did you think was it funny, stupidity, or offensive? Places review it I need to know if it's good enough to go in the Yi-Gi-Oh world. Don't worry I have some funny ideas for little Yugi hahahahahahaha! I want to give a shout out to Shadow and read "Interviews from Hell" it's really funny. Well R+R and thanks again! I leave you with some footage of Wolfwood and Vash and there sick perversions.  
  
The screen cuts off to Wolfwood and Milly.  
  
Milly- Are you sure about this?  
  
Wolfwood- Yes Yes just do it... If you love me you'll do it.  
  
Milly- OK but only because I love you.  
  
Wolfwood- I love you too.  
  
Milly spanks Wolfwood with a naked Gi-Joe.  
  
The screen cuts again to Merly waiting her PJ's on the bad.  
  
Meryl- Can't believe am doing this.  
  
Vash is behind the door.  
  
Vash- I'm almost ready.  
  
Meryl- Just harry up!  
  
Vash opens the door and he is wearing a giant Teddy bear suit. Do I really need to say more on the subject? 


End file.
